we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The Olympian is in my bed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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