They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
