Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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