I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
