He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
