I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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