We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
