it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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