He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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