i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
