Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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