it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
