Define "chronic" masturbator.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
