He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
