sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you win again, gameday.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We are all done wearing pants today
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