I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
