I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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