Christians are straight up FREAKS
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
