Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
