ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
