You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize