I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize