you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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