ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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