No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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