I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
