She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
