Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
