how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
