billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
