I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
