My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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