Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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