should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize