I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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