In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
