Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
