party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
