When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
