just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize