I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
