I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
