Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she smelled like a LAN party
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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