Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
