I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
