Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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