Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
