wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
