I have demons in me.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
