weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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