If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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