this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
