WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
