Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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