My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
