i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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