Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
