it was like eating out sand paper
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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