btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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