So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
