ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
