went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
