oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
