so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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