Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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