Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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